Our First Hate Mail!

Scott Sherman, host of our new “GAY PARENTING” show, has this story on his blog:

 Another host here on The Podcast Network received this email:

“I was very disappointed to discover that the carrier of your podcast
(thepodcastnetwork) had a show entitled “The Gay Parenting Show.” I
cannot support a network that supports “Gay Parenting.” Especially when
they are so blatant about it (see this weeks blog entry). I would love
to be able to listen to your show, (which has replaced TV on most
evenings) but I cannot while thepodcastnetwork supports this view, or
your podcast remains on this network.
There is no such thing as “Gay Parents.” There are “Parents.” What
does what you do in the bedroom have to do with parenting. Homosexuals
defeat acceptance as “normal” each time they highlight what they do with
their sexuality.
I eagerly await a time when I can once again listen to your show,
Signed: A would be listener.”

Scott’s response (see the blog) is spot on but, as one of the directors of The Podcast Network, I’d like to offer this to “A would be listener”:  We’d love you to do the “Homophobic Redneck” podcast for us. Interested? You’re obviously qualified.

Comments

[Aaron Heath]

'We’d love you to do the “Homophobic Redneck” podcast for us. Interested? You’re obviously qualified.'

Great Line Cameron!!

[Nicole Simon]

Comments like these show exactly why there needs to be such a show *sigh*.

Let's spin that: There are even more gay podcasts. This is epedemic. In case you listen to ANY podcast, chances are, you will be 'infected'. They should stop listening to podcast at all. :)

[Rob Irwin]

I just find it bizarre that being opposed to one program means that they can't listen to the network as a whole. That's the thing that has me the most incredulous. Because, let's face it, nastiness, bigotry, etc, will never go away. It's just a part of life, and it's not all that surprising or shocking. But refusing to listen to other programs on the network? That's the bit that I find the most bizarre.

[MattyT]

Oh, I read that differently the first time over. I thought the poster was asserting that homosexual people shouldn't make a point of their sexuality - it ought not to make any difference. That's a very different stance to being homophobic...in fact IMO it's supporting gay parents - by stating that they're just the same as heterosexual parents!

I'm tired now and re-reading it isn't clarifying whether I've misunderstood the point...

[Phillip Molly Malone]

I have to agree with Matt. To some degree (although the conclusions reached (not listening to any of the TPN shows and some of the start suggest that it a Homophobic thing) it could be that the person supports the idea (or doesn't opposite) but just doesn't like the fact of bringing up the Gay bit.

Me personally I don't care either way, live and let live I say.

GO HAWKS
molly

[Tony]

After reading Molly and Matt's comments and then re-reading the "hate-mail" I think I may agree with them also. I think he is objecting to the use as GAY parents as opposed to the parenting show. In all reality there shouldn't be a difference and I think that should be true BUT in this day there is still a great divde unfortunately on what people will and won't accept in regards to sexuality.

At the moment there isn't a parenting show that you could combine them into so at the moment your options are limited. I do agree that I think raising a child as a gay parent has issues a hetero family may not have to deal with but as I am not a parent I am hardly in a position to comment.

On regards of homophobia did anyone in Aus see Kate's comments on BB uncut last night. I used to like her but not sure now after what she come out with.

Tony

[Cameron Reilly]

I think it's up to LGBT parents to decide for themselves whether or not being a LGBT parent has it's own issues, not for hetero folks. Scott (the host of the GP show) obviously thinks there is a need and so do the people who have been commenting on his show blog. Go check out THEIR COMMENTS.

[MattyT]

That's a fine opinion Cam, but that's _your_ opinion. And Scott's. And I'm all for you guys taking that position (and I tend to side with you).

But you were pretty harsh on the 'would be listener' for having a different opinion given that he doesn't seem to be attacking anyone.

Wouldn't a response like this have been more appropriate?

"Thanks for taking the time to provide feedback about TGPS. However, we strongly believe that homosexual parents face different issues to heterosexual parents and that there is a strong need for such a show and, as such, we intend to continue to support the show. Particularly given the overwhelming positive feedback (insert link!) that we've received. I'm sorry if that means losing you as a listener but we will stand by our beliefs. Thanks again."

It may not have been as attention grabbing :) , but it seems like the right kind of thing to say as opposed to flinging insults... ;)

[Cameron Reilly]

Matt, I didn't think that offering a homophobic redneck a show on homophobic rednecks *was* an insult. I thought I was being very gracious. :-)

[Rob Irwin]

Are you blokes for real? If this listener really was all sweetness and light, and just trying to say there's no such thing as "gay parents" but just "parents" and, by association, being gay and a parent is OK... why on Earth would they be boycotting the Network? I think they're anti-gay, no question.

[Cameron Reilly]

yeah Rob, of course. Saying he's boycotting the network because we have a show on LGBT parents is EXACTLY the kind of discrimination they face and why they deserve show. And from now anyone who defends him will incur my wrath as well. :-)

[Cameron Reilly]

oh and Matt, the homophobe *did* get a nice, warm, friendly response from the host he sent the email to, thanking him for emailing his concerns. But I'm not as nice. I respect his right to be a homophobic redneck, but I'm also going to call him on it.

[Tony]

Rob,

You are probably right and in honesty I think you are. I just think the way the letter was written can imply either stance but if he/she/it wasn't homophobic then there would be no reason to boycott TPN. In the long run it is their loss.

[Trevor Cook]

If you think that's hate mail, mate you need to get out more. I also think its a stretch to deduce that he's homophobic or a redneck simply because he does not agree with the idea of gay parenting. I mean he may well be but its terribly pc to automatically call anyone who disagrees with a particular point of view on gay issues as a 'homophobe'. Camille Paglia for instance doesn't agree with gay marriage (preferring domestic union or some such) but she is a lesbian living in a long-term relationship and she is a gay parent. So I think there's a range of views on gay issues which can be held without their holder necessarily being a 'homophobe'.

[Cameron Reilly]

Trev, not agreeing with gay parenting is one thing. Refusing to listen to ANY show on TPN because we have a show about gay parenting is a clear sign of someone with major ISSUES.

Come on people. I seriously cannot believe ANY of you are defending this guy!

[Tony]

I'm not defending and my first impression was the same as yours. Then I read Rob's post and re-read the post and it CAN be read in two different ways. It just depends n how you interpret on what he is saying.

I think homophobia, racism and any other phobia/ism is probably wrong also when it's aim is to dehumanise another person.

I know almost none of you watch big brother but last nite on an adult edition of the show one of the girls said she was homophobic and today on the messgaeboards there is a huge backlash against her. One of the guys argued with her and she said eventually she dosen't like gays but dosen't hate them which is what homophobia basically boils down too. She said a guy she was dating when she was 16 ditched her for another guy and now she is homophobic. Seems a bit of a stretch but it's her.

The point I am trying to make is that because of the backlash received so far on the boards it's apparent that homophobia isn't seen as acceptable in todays society.

I think I am off tangent so goodbye till my next post :)

[Scott Sherman]

Hi all, this is Scott Sherman, the gay host of the Gay Parenting Page. Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay.

Now that that's out of the way, I've really enjoyed reading your comments.

I could say a lot about the email that started this discussion, and the ensuing conversation, but I think the most important thing I want to express is that as the target of the email, I did consider it hateful.

No, it wasn't filled with profanity, or calling for my head, or anything like that, but it was this person taking the strongest action he or she could could take(boycotting TPN) to protest that I was EVEN GIVEN A VOICE. The writer was withdrawing from the TPN "community" because he or she despised my mere existence on the network.

Positing that gay parenting, or homosexuality at all, is something with which one does or not "agree" is by nature (as Tony made reference to at above)dehumanizing. Being gay is a fact of my life. Having two dads is a fact of my son's life. Being gay isn't about what I do in the bedroom (as the writer suggested - but homophobes often dwell obsessively on the "sex" part of homosexuality)and everything about whom I share my life with.

And who asked the writer of that email to "agree with" anything anyway? Why couldn't he or she download the shows he or she wanted, and ignore the ones he or she didn't? Why take the extreme step of boycotting the show and writing the host? Doesn't that seem like a LITTLE MUCH to you?

It does to me. I think the writer of that email had a reaction to my show which was irrational, driven by hate and/or fear. And given that I am trying to help make a better world for my son, I wanted to point that out. Prejudice doesn't always involve cursing or threatening or violence. Sometimes, it's subtle. Sometimes, that's worse.

Fear and ignorance thrive in the darkness, and the best cure for darkness is to shine a light on it. That's what I'm trying to do here. I can see that's what some of you have done in your posts, too.

Thanks for listening.

[marc]

It seems to be that this guys was so NOT homophobic that he doesn't even differentiate between gay parents and straight parents.

Homophobia is a fear of gay people, or a discriminatory behaviour to them, and all this guy is saying is to treat them 100% equally. He's basically saying that the important issue is the "parent" bit - as long as you're not beating the shit out of your kid and molesting their friends, who cares if you're gay, straight, or cameron !! :P

i agree that the issues that face gay parents are different of those that face straight parents, and i agree that this is caused by an unfortunate and wrong discriminatory nature within some sectors of the community.

Calling the author of that letter homophobic is absolutely inaccurate.

He may be myopic for not seeing the full depth of the situation, but saying that sexuality is irrelevant is NOT discriminatory OR homophobic.

[Rob Irwin]

Hey Marc, so if this guy is really so caring and sharing and preaching that everyone should be treated equally... why's he boycotting the Podcast Network for having the show on it?

[marc]

because he wants it to be a "parenting" show, rather than a "gay parenting" show...

[Rob Irwin]

Hmmm, see, I don't think so. TPN doesn't always offer me the exact podcasts I want... but do I boycott them over it? And, especially when this guy actually enjoys some of the material, yet still boycotts it, I think it's pretty clear that he's taking an anti-gay parenting stand. After all, if you weren't that bothered by it, you'd just avoid that show, and continue listening to what you DO like, rather than making a boycotting stance.

[Scott Sherman]

The fact that the writer characterized being gay as solely about what I "do in the bedroom" indicates that he, like many other homophobic people, obsessively focuses on the sex act and not on the other cultural/political/practical isues that are involved with being gay. The fact that he says that I "defeat acceptance as normal" when I share the reality of my life indicates that that he thinks that normality is something that is denied me, unless I conform to his view of acceptable behavior. The fact that he wants TPN to deny me a voice to express that view indicates that he is discriminatory. The fact that he is boycotting the other TPN shows indicates that he is vindictive.

If he said that he was boycotting the network because he didn't approve of the African American Parenting Show, or the Catholic Parenting Show, or the Single Parents Show, I don't think we'd even be having this discussion. I think we'd agree that each of those groups has their own concerns, and that they deserve a forum to express them. And that to say otherwise is wrong.

[marc]

you guys are all nuts - seriously... gay/straight/bi/black/white/amputee/catholic/lesbian/nun parents are ALL parents.

That's this guy's point.

he's boycotting TPN because he sees _TPN_ as being discriminatory by alluding that "gay parents" are different to "straight parents".

Read his letter again and you'll see that his issue is NOT that gay parents exist, but that we're ignoring the important fact, which is that they are PARENTS !!

How far do we take it ? Do we have a "Gay black republican amputee dolphin trainers parenting" show ?

i don't necessarily agree with the guy, because i think that gay parents could very well have different issues to straight parents. At the same time, i think that Cam is inaccurate in calling him homophobic. He's boycotting something that he enjoys in order to stand up against what he believes is discriminatory. He himself is NOT being discriminatory.

Scott - while i agree with your points of being gay encompassing a lifestyle, rather than just a sexual choice, the true definition of 'gay' is same-sex sex. There's nothing stopping me sharing the same political views as you, the same ethical choices as you, and the same opinions as you, but going home and sleeping with a bunch of women. Gay/Straight/Bi is a sexual definition, and shouldn't go any further than that - just like voting Liberal or Labour doesn't affect your sexuality (although if you vote for the national party you will probably at some stage in your life have sex with a camel).

i think that one of the biggest problems with society today is that we only seem to be able to express our views freely if the person is the same religion/colour/sexuality as us.

As soon as we say something, be that opinion or statement (that may or may not be true), about someone that is different to us, we're branded as discriminatory/unfair/irrational/etc.

you guys should watch a south park episode called 'cartmans stupid hate crime' - it illustrates the point perfectly - WE'RE ALL PEOPLE !!

[Cameron Reilly]

geez maybe Marc's right. Maybe we shouldn't make our shows so specific. Maybe we should only have ONE show... just call it "THE SHOW"... and talk about... everything. No focus. No targeting. Long tail? Bah.

[marc]

like i said - i don't necessarily agree with him - i DO think that there are different issues for gay parents and straight parents.

but he is NOT homophobic - he's just naive.